In My Own Head

Sometimes I spend too much time in my own head.

Yesterday I commented to a friend that I had been ‘in my own head’ for too long this weekend. We went to brunch where I tried to explain what I meant. I managed a bad dance, tripping over every word of my answer.

My friend isn’t a writer and in some sense I felt I had to be less writer about my answer.

Of many of the people I know, she’s one that I could have given a ‘writer’ answer to and she would have understood. At least she would have understood enough to ask more questions.

I told her how I had spent a significant amount of time by myself and went down a line of thought to a place no one wants to go. We agreed we all ‘go there’ sometimes – to that place where we think we will be alone, not just in this moment, but forever.

My friend has a sense of timing like no one else I know.

I try to tell her this and it comes out all bumbled. The truth is that she texts at *the* right moment with *the* right message. I almost don’t want her to read this post because it could mess with the timing and I love the timing. It fascinates me.  

You might wonder why I didn’t give my friend the writer answer to what I meant by being in my own head.

It was probably fear. Fear of being her crazy writer friend. Fear of…who knows what and it doesn’t matter. Fear really needs to take a long walk off a short pier.

I am a writer and shouldn’t be afraid to give an answer that is a reflection of that.

While I was in my own head, I was organizing receipts from last year. My office looked like a paper factory exploded. I needed some time for practical matters. The muse didn’t like taking time off.

The muse is what I call the creative energy that takes over my every thought. She, the muse, doesn’t rest until she has said whatever she wants to say. She is not practical except that she forces me to carry a notebook with me at all times. She wants me to record my experiences, my movie moments.

I’ve been in the space of that moment ever since. I’ve been rolling around why I gave my friend that answer.

The muse wouldn’t stop so I had to write about it.

The next time the opportunity arises for me to give a writer answer, I might have to take it, if only to quiet the muse.

Have you had the experience of the muse? Do you get stuck in your own head? I would love to hear about it – if for nothing else than to know I am not alone. 

McAuley Freelance Writing helps businesses get noticed online through content marketing including blogging, copywriting and social media. We like to say we’re Word Stylists. While celebrity stylists help their clients find their public style with clothes, hair and make-up, we help our clients find their style with words and messaging. Call us at 480-206-6452 to learn more about how we help businesses.