McAuley Freelance Writing
Social Media & Business Writing
Ann no matter what God may put in your path in 2011, he’ll be right there with you just as he’s always been right there with you. Love, Dad
Quite agree with you about Linkedin, though, like a lot of things, it is always a bit frightening to start something completely new, however, we will all have to take the plunge very soon or we will be left behind while our competitors jump ahead.
Love this post. It ties in exactly with the way I think and what I write about especially “never give up.”
Thank you for the feedback!@freemcauley
Warren Buffet didn’t become who he is today for nothing that’s for sure. Great post. I’m glad to say I ran into you on Linkedin, hope to see more of your posts
Hi there,I just recently stumbled across your blog. Thanks so much for these tips. As a HUGE procrastinator, I definitely appreciate them. My biggest problem is just beginning the task – whether it’s homework, cleaning, whatever. It’s amazing how long I’ll put of just taking the books out of my backpack :p I tend to be easily overwhelmed by all my to-dos and then just give up.Nice to meet you though, and thanks for the great post. Can’t wait to read more about your blog!- Michelle
All good advice. Wish I could follow it especially the part about not juggling too many things. I think that’s a major pitfall for many of us freelancers as well as organizing our time. Both of these can be solved by, as you tell us, knowing our priorities. I also find there are always distractions that I hadn’t foreseen.
All excellent ideas – except, in my case only, being part of my community as I don’t actually belong to any particular community. However, implementation is a big problem for me as something is always happening to distract me from my goal(s). Distractions that I can’t ignore such as a son here for a prolonged visit, living in someone else’s home and having to participate in their activities, constant interruptions and distractions. I started today, Monday, with an itemized list that didn’t seem at all hard to follow – until the interruptions began. Now I’m ready to blow up with little done except checking e-mails.
By community I just mean where you live, not a specific neighborhood.
Seriously like the fresh look. I loved the content. Thanks for a excellent post.
Good points Anne!
Excellent points. The only one I might disagree with, if I were a New Yorker and I was once, is about celebrating at Ground Zero. This is something very personal to New Yorkers and while I agree with you that celebrating at a burial site is not appropriate, for them, it’s part of their closure. Several interviewed there said they had lost relatives on 9/11.
Thank you for your comments, Penelope. I too was a New Yorker and while I understand your point I disagree. The area is a burial ground for thousands and one should not dance on graves.
It’s good to get to know a little more about you. Sounds like you have an ideal life except for the occasional (I hope)things you dislike. Deadlines, maybe? Or picky clients? Or clients who don’t know their minds? Being a freelance writer, though in another field, I also love the kudos and when I can help a brand find its message or focus.
I am not a Republican but I certainly liked what I read about this formerly unknown (to me)candidate. He seems like an honest, straightforward, knowledgeable and refreshing alternative to some of the other possible candidates.
What a lovely list! My list is over 350 items long but I’ve been working, pretty steadily, through it. Visiting Ireland, Italy and NYC are all on my list as well. I’m heading to Arizona for the first time in 10 days. I’m really excited about checking out a new state.
I LOVE your website! Where in AZ will you be?? Would you have time to grab a cup of coffee? email me [email protected].
A great list, a lot of travel. Same here. My bucket list would be:1. Publish all my books2. Become a successful – even moderately – writer. Could that include the interview with Oprah?3. Live in London again – for a while only because of the weather4. Own my own little condo5. Go to Paris6. Visit Italy again7. Take a worldwide cruise8. Have enough time to read all the books on my shelves plus the ones I’m going to buy9. Have enough time to write at least 5 more books10.Make sure that my kids are both happy with their lives
Aw…Penelope….You’re too cute! I love that you made a ten list too!! Where did you go in Italy? I was in Rome and LOVED it, reminded me of a mini-NYC.
I’ve been to Italy several times. To Pisa, Elba, Rimini and that area (even the Rep. of San Marino)when I was working with an airline promoting those places. Then spent two months with my son in Milan where he was studying and we went to Florence, Venice, Verona, Naples, etc. all over. But guess what? Never got to Rome so that’s a big to do on my wish list.
What an interesting list. And insightful about you. We have a few of the same/similar ones. So you’re an entrepreneur. Well, that’s one I’ve crossed off my list – for good. Others might be:1. Getting married on a beach in Acapulco2. Alcohol3. Lived in New York City4. Been a top ad executive5. High flying days as PR for an airline6. Arabian nights with my son’s father7, Riding a camel in the Sahara8. Near-death experience9. Romance in the Caribbean10.Catering for several hundred people
Valuable post. Great information. I have a Facebook page. Just don’t know how to manage it or get more visitors or fans as most people go directly to either my website or my blog.
Very awesome tips! It’s always good to sit down and make sure it’s worth doing what you’re doing.
Well as a writer, I’ve been debating this very thing. I’ve hijacked my teenager’s netbook whenever I want to work in Starbucks because my laptop battery refuses to hold a charge. I love the idea of a tablet but need a keyboard.
My cousin is a free lance writer. I’ll have to ask her what she uses when she travels….
I approach my clients (whom I call friends because YES they do use me because we have a “Relationship”) with confidence! Nothing is worse than sitting with someone who can not articulate what they can do and more specifically what they can do for me! Because in that moment (being the client) it is ALL about what can they do for me! Or as the business owner… in that moment it is ALL about what can I do for them!! After the value talk – compensation follows!
Hi Anne. I would add one more important thing. Do a good job. If you do a good job, your best, every time, then your clients will not hesitate to recommend you.
Freelance writer and author of Change the Things You Can (Dealing with Difficult People)
Never to old! I love that part… follow your dreams and do not be afraid to reinvent and take inventory of yourself. Great article!!
We lost our mom’s the same year… though mine was April 3rd and to Lung Cancer. However, I didn’t share a closeness with my mom as you did, nor did I ‘watch’ the battle of the warriors like your mom that fought. Anne – I admire your means of expression and value your friendship and LOVE the person you are today as a result of the path you have traveled!
If you start off the game not understanding what you are doing then you will have a steeper learning curve.
Great stuff. I needed to hear these today. Thanks for making a list.
The opportunities of freelancing just keep on growing and growing and I probably would not be freelance writing today without the internet.
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Excellent job! I found your blog using gogole. I am going to tell my wife about your blog later.
Anne, you are a rockstar! We’re so privileged to have you share your awesome nuggets with the Networking Divas. And you’re a shining example of how it’s done. Bravo!
I like how you think. It really resonates with me. I think it’s a big turn-off when people are all sales-y in their social media. I prefer to think of it as relationship-building too. Then, the sales aspect feels more like sharing than selling, I’ve discovered. It’s more like sharing with friends than strangers, which keeps the connections closer. I rarely put links to my offerings on social media, but then again, I’m sure some internet marketers might say that I’m making a mistake. Hmm…this article is great food-for-thought. Thanks
I love this! It’s so true! And at first, you take anyone and it’s important to do that…you need the experience, the testimonial, the practice…oh, and the money! Absolutely! Very well-rounded post.
I didn’t know this about you. I’m sorry about your mom Anne. This was a great video. You don’t have to post this comment ; ) xoxo
Are you planning to do it again?
I love these… not sure if I can necessarily choose a favorite but I hadn’t heard this one before:
“To give real service you must add something which cannot be bought or measured with money, and that is sincerity and integrity.” – Douglas Adams
Great article McAuley! I have to agree with you. I want to go into my social media networks to be informed, not see what someone had for dinner or if they did have a headache…LOL!
MJ Brilliant Web Designs
We were made to move around for survival, as well as socialize, eat and drink simply. It is amazing how the body goes south when we don’t do that for long periods of time, and how well/quickly it can respond when we turn our bad habits around.
Just testing the comment feature after reading this: http://www.unmarketing.com/2010/12/07/the-five-words-that-kill-your-blog/
Very Nice Post, I like the Idea of the chocolate cake. Greetings from Coby
Great post, Ann! Thankfully, I have this stuff dialed in already, mostly because I (and it sounds like you can relate) had to sort myself out after suffering INbalance and anxiety in the past. I am so careful to eat healthy foods at home, even though I can hear the cookies and chips calling my name all day! I schedule in my ME time, too–so important! Thanks for the great reminders!
Love this analogy! My most favorite line: “Would you rather pay $16.95 for the ingredients to make a chocolate cake or buy the cake? If you’re selling ‘ingredients’ in your business you are missing the mark.”
Thanks for sharing. This is cool! I’m setting mine up now
I know some people that regularly use the non-word irregardless. Whenever I hear it, it’s like fingers on a chalkboard. Glad to see you write about it here – love it!
Oh that is strange.. it looks like you do not forgive your former employer!
11. Healthcare for the unemployed/self-employed/temporarily employed.
I am honestly shocked I am still alive right now.
I am so proud of you for limiting it to 10. I would not have been able to even though you hit quite a few of mine…
Great reminder! Enjoyed the blog.
Woo-hoo!! I just need to practice taking my own advice!
Thanks Anne for being a buisness owner with integrity, trustworthiness, and accountablity!! Your awesome!! Heather
Anne – excellent post, as always. Thanks for the mention…and the kind words. Nice to hear one of my favorite people…well, that it’s reciprocal. Looking very forward to our brainstorming. Enjoy the rest of the trip!
Thanks, Anne! A gal I network with asked me how I did this–so glad I didn’t have to give her my own tutorial!! A lifesaver!
Oooo, I enjoy productive introspection!! I love what you said. Blogger for local business and choosing your clients based on the industries you love–really cool!!
?What do you want to be at liberty to do? To work side by side with female small business owners so I can ‘get in their head’ and help them express their point of view through their writing. I’d like to have a handful of great clients I can work closely with, rather than a bunch of ‘little’ clients. That would work well for me with where I’m at in life right now.
?What project or idea is calling to you right now? Offering to help women write and/or edit their personal story, whether for them to publish, present, pass around or just to keep for themselves.
?What gifts are you ignoring? I really love event planning and entertaining, but it’s hard to incorporate it into what I’m doing. I’m pretty good at encouraging people, too, and I’m not doing enough of that right now.
?What’s one belief you need to change in your own brain that keeps you from declaring your freedom? Anne, I’m with ya on this one–I have to remember to charge what I’m worth. I’m in the process of narrowing my focus, finding my niche and gaining the confidence to say, “I’m worth every penny.” It’s an on-going process!!
Thanks for a thought-provoking post!
I really like your post. I will wait for your next post because i am sure that it will also be good and informative for me.
Thanks for sharing, Tabitha! I love that as writers and women in business we can share our ideas. All too often as women we get competitive in a bad, non-life-giving way. I am blessed to have you and others in my life from whom I learn. You rock!
Fantastic article – I think we all need to step back from our busy lives and focus on quality rather than quantity.
I 100% agree with you on this. I would have done the same thing.
Excellent tips! I know that having my office located just out the door, in the detached garage, helps me to mentally get to work. My tip would be to consider setting up a separate account on your computer for work.
I use a mac and switching between accounts is really simple. I keep all of my work files on the my work account and then anything I do for myself or friends or volunteer gets saved under a personal account. At the end of my work day, if I want to surf the web, I do it on my personal account.
I do keep some files in a shared folder that is accessible from both accounts so if I need to check something personal real quick, I don’t have to shut down my work projects and switch accounts. Dropbox can work the same way if you are not able to access a shared folder between accounts.
Anne, your blog is … purpletastic! So glad to have met you and have the privilege of sharing, laughing and going bananas together! Wishing you continued success cause you are making a difference. #purplemonkeyhugs
It’s been awesome to watch your journey. You are a gifted writer and so glad you are using your God-given giftedness to do what you love. We love all the blogging you continue to do for Career Connectors. THANK YOU!
Great post! I will definitely take this to heart when I hire some help–hopefully soon!! Thankfully, my background is teaching–I’ll have to go back into ‘teacher mode’ when training people!
Anne, I very much appreciate that you didn’t let the “you’re-dumber-than-dirt tone creep into your voice” when I was trying to figure out spreadsheets and guest blog posts, etc. etc. Your kindness meant a lot to me!
I will definitely check out Christine’s stuff! Thanks for the introduction!
Thank you for the opportunities you and Career Connectors have presented to me. It is a blessing to be involved with such great people!
I am interested in guest blogging. All my info is on the website.
Please contact me if you have any questions.
I messaged you through LinkedIn. Would love to connect! Thanks.
Great tips and reminders and just completely enjoyable to read.
Great descriptions of what you offer!!
I want to be you when I grow up!
LOL! God help you!! It has been an interesting path to get to where I am. You will get there too!
Excellent! Loved this article, thanks for sharing. And I agree, don’t let anyone tell you, “you can’t do it.” It’s just not true.
I’m glad I went too! Thanks for mentioning it to me and inspiring me to start doing my own side business!
Aw shucks…. It was great spending time with you!
I’m so glad we met at Bloggy Boot Camp! I’d love to get together. Email me and let me know what your schedule’s like in the next couple of weeks.
Hi, Raejean!! Email me some dates/times next week when you’re available to meet. [email protected]. Thanks.
I believe that having a work schedule while working from home is essential and indeed help a lot. It will help you stay focus on tasks and get things done. Another great way to save time is to set an estimated amount of time when working on each task, which will limit wasted time.
I often work in front of the computer and I use this online tool called Time Doctor, which I use to set an estimated time when working on each task. It also allows me to eliminate less productive activities and improve productivity.
Great tips on writing tips. That play on words may sound sarcastic but it’s not. Useful advice is exactly that, useful. I will definitely refer back to these tips whenever I’m thinking about my customers and how to draw them in.
Thank you, Mary! I look forward to hearing more about your blogging efforts.
I love that you are doing this. So many businesses don’t know how or where to get started so they just don’t do it. I hope you get a lot of people and that it turns into many more classes.
Great advice. I’m committed to making better use of social media in 2103.
Also, I love your business description!
It’s a challenge to find the balance of social media and business. I think that is why businesses outsource to people like me – they know there is great value but don’t have time to properly develop and execute a strategy. I recommend using Hootsuite and Facebook scheduler.
Thank you for the business description compliment! It has gotten rave reviews.
Great list of quotes. 2013 is going to be our best year yet….guess I better get to writing that plan down!!
Heck yeah it is our best year yet!
Thanks again for sharing this guide!
LOL yeah I saw a few of these things while I was dating online…then once they found out I was a photographer they wanted me to take new photos for them after we started dating #shame
I think we should capitalize on this business. I write profiles for people and you take their pictures. Many of these people need serious help!
That irony is part of what makes you so good at what you do. Your experience in the corporate world gives you an insider’s view on corporate culture, hiring, and employee retention and engagement.
When I was a freelance researcher working with fundraisers, I think my experience working for a major organization with a large fundraising department really added value to what I had to offer. I had worked with experienced and successful fundraisers, and I understood how they thought and what they needed. That knowledge transferred well even when I worked with small shops.
It’s so true! We learn from every experience — good or bad — and take it with us to our next project.
I agree that it is the irony that makes what I do a business and not just a writer flailing around with words. As much as I wish I had been a writer 20 years ago I don’t think I could have sustained my efforts without the business experience.
It’s great to have those kind of resources to help you make a plan to reach your goals! Thanks for sharing your results. Here’s to an even better 2013!
Thank you, Raejean, for your kind words and sharing the post!
Businesses that successfully broadcast a message about their product and interact with those who comment can create personal, demonstrable relationships and a sense to others that your company is both forward-thinking and attentive to its customers.
I understand what you are saying, however what can companies do to ensure that what they write in a blog does not turn people off with fragmented sentences, poor spelling and horrid grammar?
Companies can ensure they are producing quality posts by engaging their teams in the task. Know your employees and their skills. Understand who is a good writer and let them at the task. Share the task among your team using peer-to-peer writing and editing. Most importantly, don’t go-live with crap — have a system in place internally so bad posts don’t get to the company website.
Heidi, I don’t think you need to be a professional writer to be a blogger, or even a talented writer. But you need to be reasonably competent, or have someone who is a good writer review and proofread your posts before you go live. Anne’s suggestions of sharing the task among several team members is a good one; the person who has the idea for a blog post may not be the ideal person to actually write it.
I do feel strongly that poor spelling, usage, and punctuation damage the credibility of your blog and the information you want to share (in fact I’ve written more about that at The Metaphor Maven (link: http://ow.ly/gUhyh).
I love Toastmasters! I joined in March last year and just did my CC7 last Wednesday. I consider myself a recovering introvert. I still prefer being home along on a Friday night, but I REALLY look forward to my weekly Toastmasters meeting as well. Good for you for getting back on the horse!
PS: I think you’ll enjoy Susan Cain’s talk: The Power of Introverts http://www.ted.com/talks/susan_cain_the_power_of_introverts.html
Congrats on CC7! I am speaking on 2/6 — ugh… gotta do it! I will watch the TED talk — love those TED talks!!
The “where do you get your energy from” question is exactly right on. I don’t mind public speaking, but I would definitely rather be alone on a Friday night!
Yesterday I had the odd experience of having been alone most of the day and NEEDING to be with people. Once I was interacting face-to-face and on the phone I felt better. Weird for an introvert…
LOL well I certainly wouldn’t suggest a sporting event for a first date. My preference would be to meet for a coffee or beer (yes if you don’t drink either then that also answers a lot for me). I don’t mind trading a few emails or even a phone call but <3 should be sufficient to have a meeting. I'm not looking for a penpal and I could probably fall in love with many people over email but I need to meet in person. I need to know that there is some chemistry between us and I've been doped enough by women using old profile photos, lying about their stats, etc (yes I know guys do this too) but when I first meet someone for a date I do want to talk. I want to hear and see your responses and how you act in public, are you socially awkward? Are you mean to service staff? Are you a sloppy drunk? So again I'm fine with a couple emails and a phone call but after that, we've got to meet. Oh and I probably wouldn’t call a woman sweetie on the first meet, I prefer to refer to her as a “hot piece of ……” LOL (I’m kidding of course, guys be a gentlemen)
I have dated a bit, though I am more the marrying kind, think Liz Taylor and you have an idea what I’m talking about…
Being from the South, and currently living there, sweetie and honey are parts of our everyday language. Some time it’s an insult for example “Oh bless your heart sweetie I bet you thought it was okay to go to the store in your slippers” or a compliment “Sweetie you are just the cutest little thing I’ve ever seen” but usually it is just they way I talk. Also in the South being invited to an sporting event would be dangerous if you didn’t know for sure if you were talking to a Bama fan or an Auburn fan.
As a lady I was raised to not meet anyone in person unless you knew then, or someone in your family did. As for online, coffee or a drink is the best way, not a sporting event or a movie, too hard to talk and not dinner, too much committment. If someone doesn’t get the hint after you suggest something other than his suggestion, then he is not a gentleman and ladies don’t date men like that…
Young girls today need to remember to be ladies and maybe the doofuses will remember how to be gentlemen. My daughters would have blessed the doofuses out. (Another Southern term that sounds nince but really isn’t)
Great comments, Suzi! Thank you for the reminder that terms like “sweetie” may be common on conversation in parts of the country in which I am not familiar. As a CT/NY lady, I prefer not to be called sweetie – by a doofus or anyone else.
Best line: “If someone doesn’t get the hint after you suggest something other than his suggestion, then he is not a gentleman and ladies don’t date men like that..” AMEN!
I have flown a lot over the past 14 years and while this hasn’t happened to me (yet) I have other stories of wack-a-doodle. Some people just get their switched turned off on flights!
I’m in complete agreement — you can completely tell everything (well, almost everything) about a person based on how they treat servers and such. A guy uses a coupon, is derisive to a waiter, doesn’t tip. That’s an immediate sign to scoot the doofus.
And yes, real gals should be drinking beers
You’re absolutely correct, but I have to tell you, all of the above suggestions work only in theory. Clients always think their work is an emergency. It’s easy to say “they’re not worth it” until you reply to an inquiry on Monday morning and find out you lost the job to someone who responded on Sunday. I hope this post reminds everyone that we ALL need to get back to what used to be normal work weeks. Somebody needs to tell the clients.
Good point! My philosophy is that if they can’t wait the deal wasn’t meant to be. I also haven’t lost a deal yet though…
I feel like #3 was a trick one….
No, but seriously, I have been finding that work bleeds into my life way more now than it used to, but also finding that it can be a very good thing. When I was doing the whole corporate thing, I never ever talked about work to my husband. It was too boring. I didn’t like what I did. Now, however, I’m yacking his ear off about content and stories and opportunities and loving it. I’ve also found that I’ll work hours and hours certain days of the week (usually M-T-W) but will take off earlier on Thursdays and Fridays. So I guess it balances out?
Thanks for the listy list – just to keep me in check if Thursdays or Fridays start creeping in
Admittedly #3 was kind of a trick. Sometimes after business hours is when we read each other’s blogs. If that’s all you’re doing and not having time with the three dimensional world then it’s a problem.
#8 is definitely a toughie for me. I get a lot of calls Sunday nights and don’t know how to handle them. Sometimes it really can be an emergency that has to be addressed immediately, but sometimes it’s something that can wait until Monday morning to take care of…
Scott, could you work Sundays and have a different daytime off from work when you’re less busy?
I usually take time off throughout the day, it seems. Hulu here, Netflix there… it adds up…
For most of my life I’ve most certainly been a workaholic. But my hubby helped pull me out of that and now I just work really long hours…but stop working to spend time with my family. And unfortunately, I can’t say that’s always been the case.
Excellent message! You’ve hit all the key points. Sometimes we just need to be patient for the ‘monetary’ rewards because the true reward is connecting with awesome people and supporting each other in achieving our goals. Keep up the purpletastic..oops…fantastic work!
Disobedient characters are always the best ones! They do things you don’t expect and go places you wouldn’t dare!! Follow Evie.
Thanks for the vote of confidence! I knew in the back of my mind that she was central to Kat. I think we’re heading down a rough patch. At least I have written the funerals already.
Ack — wrangling characters is similar to what I imagine wrangling children will be like. Good luck and have fun with it!
Wow, I was rolling from the first paragraph…sorry to hear about the quesadilla. I’m curious about where this mystery comedy club is. Did you ever find out?
Yes, my friend with the baby had a similar experience. She promises me we will go…again. She said once the comedy started it was really good. I will message you the name of the club. I need to be hidden in plain sight.
I think I attract drama too. I am posting a sign outside my house, as soon as I get moved back to Arizona, “Drama Free Zone”. You have never lived drama until you have experienced it in the South. People will avoid shopping at a certain store location, everything here is pretty much Wal-Mart or Dollar General, just because ‘she’ shops there.
This is a place grown men will get into fist fights at the Dairy Queen over high school football. And I have been disowned, called names, and given the cold stare more than once in the 20 months I’ve been here and that was by family, of course I am related to most of the town so that makes it easier.
And heaven forbid you don’t want to play along with the drama, they will call your mother, who lives 1800 miles away, and TELL ON YOU.
My mom almost hurt herself trying not to laugh before she could hang up the phone. I miss my Arizona family and friends.
OMG — They called your mom?? Yes, please come back to us!!
I think I may use some of your suggestions! And just how many ways are there to eat cake and drink coffee? I look forward to your post on that.
I had a friend a long time ago taking pictures of people eating cake that he was making into a movie of some sort. I know our group celebrated everything with cake and had a blast eating cake — with a fork, face only, with each other. It got really silly. I don’t want to steal his idea BUT as far as I know it remains an unfinished project. Ways to drink coffee? on the patio, in a chair, in the morning, in the afternoon, alone, witha friend, with chai, with sugar, with a clown…there are LOTS of ways to drink coffee!
“Sweetie” is my biggest pet peeve. Biggest pet peeve of online dating. People I’ve never ever met or exchanged a hello with start emails with “Sweetie”. WTF? Um, no. Pet names are reserved for long term relationships. And even then, I’m picky.
I love that you’re picky! I think we should be. It shows we respect ourselves. Men should love that about us.
Oh yeah, I’ve experienced the “business traveler” whose phone doesn’t seem to work in other states. Then after three weeks of nothing I get random texts.
Um, no, day 4 of radio silence you dropped off my radar – completely.
Glad to know I am not alone!
First of all, a lobbyist is not necessarily bad, says your SAHM friend in Northern Virginia married to a, yes, corporate lobbyist. Second, I stood up and applauded (in my head) with your comment about “Receiving roses on Valentine’s Day is pretty darn sweet. I am of an age when I expect things and make things happen.” Many years (ahem, decades) ago, I was far too practical and pragmatic, and shunned most things Romantic as a waste of money and a ridiculous nod to stupid consumerism. Now, well, the things I shunned are now things I would actually sort of like. Oh, I’ll admit it. I want Romance — but more often than not, I am responsible for making it happen. And in the end it doesn’t matter one speck whether the Romance is created by me or not — as long as it happens, I’m happy. And I like that your definition of Romance includes Doritos.
I agree all lobbyists are not bad. The one I dated took me on some great dates but he had the personality of a doorknob. LOL. Longterm he would have bored me to death. He was a little obsessed with his city too. It’s a great city, don’t get me wrong, but you have to expand beyond borders to get a taste for life — and the other cities in your state.
LOL on the “decades ago” – I had a roommate who was (and probably still is) about not entertaining consumerism. I understand being practical and fiscally responsible but it’s VALENTIME’S DAY. A little romance wouldn’t hurt anyone.
I follow @GoddessNextDoor on Twitter and she has some great advise about women NOT being the ‘lead’ in dating and romance. While the independent woman in me wants to make things (romantically/dating-wise) happen, I take the Goddess’ advice. So far so good.
Here’s to a few Doritos on V-Day!
I love the dress and agree with your sentiments on the V-Day. The first time I was in a committed relationship on the day, I decided I wanted all the romance and blah blah blah. I wore a cute dress, we walked around a park, ate food, and the whole time I was nauseated by the whole banality of the holiday. Even my happily in love self couldn’t stomach Valentine’s Day.
Now it is our yearly tradition to sit around in sweat pants, eat macaroni and cheese, and drink cheap champagne. I hope your Italian dinner turns out to be a fantastic time and slightly more yummy than a bag of Doritos.
I used to have expectations of Valentines because the world defined it as being chocolate, cards, flowers, romantic dinners, blah, blah, blah. Then I grew up. My husband and I agreed many years ago to scrap the whole valentine premise and created our own valentine definition. We say I Love You at every opportunity (several times a day). We hug each other often. We cuddle often. We talk and laugh about everything and nothing. We do simple things like walking, watching tv, playing scrabble, doing nice things that make each other happy and we are in the moment. When Valentines, birthdays, anniversarys arrive, we continue to do what we do because everyday is special already. Special dinners may fall a week before, on the day or after. No pressure. No disappointment. Because we know what we know and at the end of the day, isn’t that what’s it all about? So go ahead wear that gorgeous dress and enjoy your Doritos, Italian food (delish) and friendships…when the doritos and dinner are finished, it’s the time you spend together that will be cherished. ‘nuf said
You’re more awesome with every post, Angela! So wise and thank you for reminding me/us that V-day is everyday when you surround yourself with the right people.
Currently obsessed with the Torch Lake, Torch River and Warren Dunes areas of Michigan. Also magnificently obsessed with a fictional old woman, her priest who cheats at cards, and her grandniece who is on the verge of a complete nervous breakdown.
Is your magnificent obsession fictional old woman a creation of yours? She sounds intriguing.
Mine is helping women create a life of influence, confidence and beauty–to own how FanTABulous they are! I can’t stand seeing women shrink away from the life of their dreams–and I do truly lose sleep over how to help women accomplish what they want out of life. Definitely obsessed.
And obsessed with doing that in my OWN life first–then passing it on!
Tabitha, I think you are so right about women not standing up to see how great they are. Then they get upset at the men they attract. Hellloooo…see your value and others will see it too. It’s reflected in everything we do.
I just read this via in-flight internet. I laughed so hard I’m sure many passengers want me to get out and walk–immediately! I would feel a lot better today if I didn’t have first-hand knowledge of a few of those #s, …or many…most….okay, all!
Feeling exposed (tee, hee)
How to really tell if your weekend was epic? Wait five years. If people are still telling that story, and getting whoops of hysterical laughter in response–EPIC.
Bonus points if they’ve added details that never actually happened, or at least you can’t remember if they did or not.
LOL! That is true!
Beautifully Written!! Keep doing what you are, makes Perfect sense!! Enjoy your writings, along with Christine’s!!!
I’m sort of scared to share how many bonus points I got…
LOL! I will never share so you don’t have to either.
Yuppers, I have a tendancy to get absorbed in my work and let other things slide. Home, kids, husband–yeesh.
I do try to keep office hours and not drop everything to attend to every client’s needs. I also try to keep Friday completely free of work appointments so I can get coffee with my mom, craft, go shopping, etc. I usually log some good hours over the weekend when my hubby can watch the boys, so Friday is really more like my Saturday.
I am also getting better at asking people to come to ME, rather than me being out and about all the time.
I try to stay offline for most of the weekend, too, except maybe a little Pinterest for fun.
I also refuse to get a smart phone because I know I’d be tempted to use it 24/7 for work!
P.S. I’m like Scott, too, and take mini-breaks throughout the day. Watch a TV show while I eat my lunch, browse Pier 1 after I leave Staples, make a thank you card rather than buy one…it does add up, and alleviates that feeling of “working all the time.”
We have the same passion, Anne! Writing does the heart, spirit, and body a lot of good. Some studies have also found longer-term benefits of expressive writing for emotional health outcomes too! So, enjoy writing!
Thank you for your comment!
I haven’t heard about the long-term benefits of expressive writing. That is interesting. I am a believer in the mind-body connection. We can heal or make ourselves sick with what we think; we just have to listen to our bodies. Writing gets it out of our heads and on to paper much the same as a deep breathing exercise.
I have a close friend who has pointed out how badly I am stuck in my own head. I always have been. I happen to like it in there. It’s a great place to hang out while physically being someplace that is boring or wasting my time. Growing up, my sister always accused me of being in my own world. It makes me who I am and I am darn proud of that!
Perhaps the difference is that my “muse” requires outside stimulation. My muse gets lazy without things and people to observe and overhear.
I like that you are comfortable in your own head. I am…to a point…then I need to be out in the world.
You’re in good company. I spend a great deal of time in my head. Also a fellow slave to the muse & her blasted whims. Heidi has a good point though, I need outside experiences to ‘paint’ with now & then.
I agree. I need outside experiences from which I can draw.
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Thank you for your kind words! It is great to know the writing is being read and my readers are finding it useful.
Hilarious! I think I have the same problem. Except, most people break up with me and don’t care how it makes feel.
I’ve had an email breakup. I’ve had a text breakup. I’ve had a NO COMMUNICATION breakup. I’m not sure which was worse!
Have you read Quiet by Susan Cain? In it, she had the best description of the difference between an introvert and an extrovert. While an extrovert pulls energy from being around others, introverts give their energies to others and thus feel drained after being in social situations. It’s not to say that it’s not enjoyable or fun, just that it’s a tiring activity and there is a certain amount of “recharging” that has to happen afterwards. Just a thought after reading your post here and feeling the same way most of the time
Your BFF since the first grade sounds like a very wise woman….if only she would take her own advice.
Yes, she is quite wise and I agree she should take her own advice.
Great story about your parents. Check your email
Those pics were a huge hit — Thank you so much for sharing them!
Great, now I need to make a list for mine but I’ve got 1636 days to plan for that
I love your statement and the title of your blog : “Just outside the comfort zone is an amazing place where I meet many of my readers.” VERY TRUE! Thanks for sharing Anne!
You are most welcome! I truly appreciate the feedback.
“I’m a writer, not a speaker.” I guess you can just delete that line now, can’t you? Way to go!!! Congrats!!
Thanks, Kelly! LOL — I don’t think I am adding speaker to the list quite yet. It’s not a natural place for me…yet?
Anne, you were magnificent last night. It was an entertaining and well-delivered speech that was so uniquely you. You nailed it, and I feel fortunate to have been along for the ride! Good luck preparing for the Division level. Psssst….and check your email for the link to the video I captured!
Ooohh….a bootleg of the speech….I love it! Before the speech a brilliant person told me, “Tonight you get to do something only you can uniquely do.” Guess I accomplished that!
Congratulations! Moving from writer to speaker is such a hard transition but it looks like you’ve nailed.
And, yep, I think if I just lived in the shower, I could be about as prolific as Stephen King. Sigh.
I appreciate my non-doofus husband, even when he acts like a doofus. Hands off, he’s MINE!
LOL!! Okay…there will be another one…
Amen sister! Great article. Thanks for reminding women to take care of their husbands … no one is perfect
Awesome post!!! Thank you for putting this from a woman’s point of view! Keep up the great work.
Thank you for the feedback. I truly appreciate it.
Ha! So agree with this. I’m surprised by so many women and men that seem to forget that relationships take work to keep them alive and viable. =) Mine is totally worth it, and I remind myself even in doofus moments that I’m lucky to have found him.
…and when it isn’t working it might be time to part ways… It’s important to do the work to get to that point – and without cheating.
And may I add, if you decide that you don’t want your non-Doofus husband any longer, don’t cheat on them or treat them like crap. Grow a proverbial pair and break it off in a respectable and honorable way. Men, pay attention to that last comment, too. Nice post, Anne.
Amen, Jill. Perhaps there is a Big Fat Cheater blog post coming soon… I dated him…that’ a helluva story to tell… he was a drunk cheater. Class act. I thought my dad was going to kill him.
Do awesome men actually exist? I wonder if these awesome men are like my awesome husband that thinks he is some type of God, and should be worshiped. Do these men even for a second consider that these men dont show one ounce of appreciation to their wives that probably like me wait on them hand and foot. Really?? Are we still living in the stone ages that men still need to be validated and when a woman is more accomplished than he is he finds a public way to trash her. Sad guys really sad.. Grow up and get a grip…
If he thinks he is awesome, he probably isn’t awesome in the way I am thinking about awesome. The awesome ones don’t know they are – it’s part of what makes them who they are…and how they are. They love and respect women because that is what a real man does. And as women we should love and respect them too. Work hard at the relationship — and sometimes that means leaving. Took me entirely too long to figure that out. I am grateful I didn’t spend a lifetime with the wrong person. Now I know what I want and would rather be alone than with a doofus.
Well said! It got me thinking about what I might have bitched and moaned about in regards to the man who “works hard to make sure you have what you need,” etc., etc., And in my opinion it’s never really a good idea to withhold sex, I mean who are you REALLY hurting? Yourself. Glad to have discovered your blog.
We have all made mistakes in relationships. I think learning from the past makes the next relationship better – and the next one makes US as individuals better too. We learn what we want, what we deserve and we find that person.
I don’t have a husband, I do a few ex-husbands I will give away but they fall into the category of doofus.
I do appreciate the man in my life, even with all of his issues, having been both single I am glad to not be in fully in the single group anymore…
There is some perspective in having the experiences of relationships. We learn what we tolerate and what is a deal breaker. We learn what we want in the next relationship and if you’re lucky, you find THE ONE…at least that is what I have been told.
love this! I happen to be a very lucky man! Blessed with a wonderful wife who only wants me to change/improve upon my health choices. She always asks very nicely for me to pick up my things. When I come home from a hard day of cleaning peoples yards 9 times out of 10 times I am greeted with a smile and or a “thank you for working so hard for us”. Marriage may be the single hardest thing to deal with sometimes but it is also the most rewarding! My wife makes me proud to be her husband. Your post is very powerful and I hope many people see it! Mainly because the saying holds true for us men “you get more bees with honey!”. Lastly what a sad mistake withholding sex as a form of punishment is.
You are awesome, Shane! Thank you so much for your perspective.
I may not be in a traditional relationship but not a day passes that I am not reminded how much I am loved and cherished. Sometimes I do let the little things outshine the bigger picture… Thanks for the reminder to appreciate what I have been blessed with. <3
That was kind of my purpose in writing the post — to remind us of what we have and to be grateful for what we have. Thank you for your feedback. I really appreciate it.
As a woman who just lost her non-doofus husband I want to stand with you & shout – APPRECIATE YOUR HUSBANDS WHILE YOU HAVE THEM!!!!!!! I would do anything to have all those little annoyances back – and all the incredibly awesome things too, which I tended to take for granted!
BIG HUG to you. Thank you for your message. That was really my purpose in writing the post — to help people see and appreciate the person they have chosen. I am sorry for your loss.
YES! Sometimes it seems like I am the only one who thinks like this. Thank you!
You are welcome! I talk about this with Jen all the time. I just don’t understand why people stay together who aren’t happy and/or why people cheat. Just get out of the relationship…or work to fix it. I hate there are good men who are unappreciated by their wives. They deserve better.
Oh Shaq! I never thought he’d have such great things to say, but then again, he did do Kazaam and look at that masterpiece I do especially love number #4 — so true how much more genuine we come off as when we show people rather than tell them.
I thought the same thing about Shaq!
Life means doing what you love to do and sharing everything you have to the people you love the most… then, you can proudly say that you really have a successful in Life!
“1. Take your mailing address off your resume. It’s so 1995. Employers will not hire someone who doesn’t show effort.”
Sorry, but that’s pure [curse word removed by blog manager]. Your other 8 tips were great, but this first one is full of [word removed by blog manager]. When it comes to resumes, standards first, trends second. Standards are not the same in each country, and certainly not the same for each industry. Things like contact information, whether to put a photo on the resume or not, is entirely dependent on where you live. In Canada or the US, photos are a no-no, but that is not the case universally across the globe. The same for the address.
While this no-address advice may apply to where YOU live, it should not be your #1 tip. It’s great to follow trends, I’ll give you that, but respect to the due process and standards should always come first.
Thank you for your comments. I like hearing from my readers. Because I work with career transition experts and ghostwrite career transition blogs, I am entrenched in the latest trends which include removing a mailing address in favor of links to a professional blog or LinkedIn profile. I agree in consideration for those outside the US as I do not research job trends in other nations. Your comments are appreciated.
Anne – congrats on landing the big client and congrats on learning this lesson. I’ve found myself going through a similar transition this month also. It’s so wonderful when one’s perspective makes such a positive shift. It’s not necessarily a huge shift, but it does have a huge impact.
Great post = thanks for sharing!
Lovely thoughts. It’s so easy to get sucked into the computer and the to-do list and this and that, but I try to make myself get offline at a reasonable time every night, shut the thing down, turn the phone on silent, and just enjoy life.
It’s refreshing to be out in the world sometimes, isn’t it? I turned off the phone Saturday night and wrote. Some of it was brilliant and some of it was a dump of mind crap…it all felt good. I need to do that more often.
Thank you for this – I often get asked to help people with their resumes and I love that you have already benchmarked best practices. You laid the tips out short and sweet and I do believe you are right…let’s not post our address on our resumes anymore.
Now I’m going to party like it’s 1999. Is that still ok?
LOL! Yes, you can still PARTY like it’s 1999. In fact, I encourage it.
Since I’m new with the business, I didn’t know that there are so many things to consider when writing a blog. Currently, I’m still busy to focus in writing a blog. But I hope soon I will be able to write my blog and have my own business. Thanks! Very informative. I will consider this soon…
Thank you! Have fun writing!
Well and very eloquently and very simply written!! Go girl power!!
I hope to utilize this someday! In the meantime, I’ll be sure to recommend it to people I know! Fun stuff!
“Intestinal fortitude.” So true.
I would add a bit to the not going it alone part. I think being a solopreneur is really about understanding what resources you already have around you and using those effectively. For example, I have a lot of friends that I’ve mined for information about accounting, project management, etc. Always always make use of what you already have around you (and then return in kind, of course, and with a bottle of wine!)
I’d say that the main reason I continue to pursue this sometimes crazy dream is that it’s a lot easier than dealing with middle managers and waffling meetings about company changes. I like that I can decide exactly where I want to go and what I want to focus on. Even better, if a new opportunity comes my way, I can take the chance and just try it out to see what happens.
Wonderful comments and insight!! Thank you for sharing. Keep pursuing the dream!
Just when I think there are topics you won’t cover…..
LOL… too much?
Not at all…That’s a VERY important topic!
Thank you! I thought it was important too!
Social media can certainly take a strangle hold of your life. I think we’ve all been there…where the newness and eagerness of building our own little community infiltrates all aspects of our lives. Then as we grow wiser to the ways (the follows/unfollows, the friending/unfriending, the likes/unlikes) sort of jade us but then when we take EVERYTHING into perspective, we see the real benefits of social media. I for one have met some AWESOME people (yes that includes you Anne! and enjoy the comradery we share as we support each other to achieve our goals. So is it perfect? Nope. But then again, what is? As long as we stay focused and nurture the core group, it does really pay off in the end..actually, it’s priceless. Purple Hugs ((:))
Well said as usual, Angela! Love that purple monkey of yours!
Like you, I find social media useful for keeping in touch with faraway friends and relatives. I think “following, friending, linking and un-following, unfriending and unlinking” happen in life as well as online; it’s in the nature of relationships to change. We’re still working out the etiquette of how that works in social media (and of course, there have always been people who don’t bother with etiquette!).
It’s a wise choice to place limits on how much time and attention we give to social media. By avoiding automatic updates and messages, you only engage with social media when you choose to do so. Excellent advice.
I must be oblivious or painfully unpopular as I haven’t had to block or unfriend anyone…yet! You’re more “out there” than I am, though! And there are a lot of crazies “out there!”
I get fed up with social media sometimes, too. I completely agree, though–there’s so much good because of it, it far outweighs the bad! I, too, am amazed at the feedback I get because I post my own stories of my personal challenges and triumphs. Knowing I inspired or encouraged someone makes at all worth it.
I have had to limit myself to keep from being overwhelmed with it all. I usually don’t even go online over the weekend, except for Pinterest. It helps keep me sane!!
Don’t EVER give up on social media, Anne! We need you!!!
I don’t think I could ever leave — don’t worry! I love the space when it is used productively or for good. The drama and negativity can go away.
I’m a serial solopreneur, and I can’t picture myself working as happily with either a boss or employees.
I became a solopreneur years ago because I wanted to fit my career in around my family life, rather than fitting my family life in around the demands of my career. My first solo business grew out of my pre-kids career, and was in a field where client interaction was limited. It was great–they sent me projects, I did them, I sent them back, they paid me–and I was able to work with clients across the country rather than locally, and schedule my working hours around family obligations.
Now that my children are older, I’ve started a second solo business that involves more client interaction and more creativity. I hope to continue doing this, and enjoying it, well beyond ‘retirement age,’ because I can set my own hours and work as much, or as little, as I want.
As Nikki said above, using the resources you already have is important. I started with my home computer and a spare bedroom as my office, but also with a network I’d built through being active in a professional organization and an online forum, so my colleagues knew me, respected me, and recommended me when I went into business for myself.
Thank you for sharing your story, Sandra! I think we’re on the same page in terms of appreciating the people in our lives who help us along the way. Recommendations and referrals are powerful to becoming successful solopreneurs. Happy to hear you have some cheerleaders! All the best in your new, creative venture!
I see myself in some of those descriptions! My passion for working for myself began in 1998 when we moved to AZ and I discovered a “mom and daughter shop” in downtown Gilbert. I thought, “I want this someday.” Fast forward to my short-lived teaching career, then deciding to stay home to raise our boys…and I started dabbling in home-based businesses, because I loved the idea of having my own business.
I kinda wish I’d started “Let Me Rephrase That” back then, but…timing is everything and it wasn’t time yet.
From there, I started blogging, did some network marketing, dabbled in some more businesses, ran an Etsy shop for years…
And eventually moved to the east valley where my folks could help me with my kiddos and I just started exploring my options and figuring out how to do that whole “do what you love” thing…and I’m still dabbling, making connections, making mistakes and loving ever minute of it!!
It’s a journey, no a destination. As long as you are having fun and learning, it’s all worth it!
P.S. Why do I keep going? I have some BIG dreams I am working toward, but for now, I’m taking it one step at a time. I also keep going because I’m fueled by other “dreamer and do-er” types like YOU!
I’ve had some of your experiences and feelings about social media, and if I’m honest, at least several times I week I contemplate pulling out and retreating to private life. Also like you, I have come to the conclusion that there is much that’s positive about the SM community, and I have made some changes that are allowing me to enjoy it more.
Chiefly, I am aggressively unfollowing people who I view as dead wood in my SM forest. I’m also stringently limiting who I interact with and how much time I’m willing to invest in my online relationships. This is an ongoing experiment, that I continue to tweak in the search for personal and professional balance.
Thanks for sharing your experiences, Tabitha!
“dead wood in my social media forest” – What a great phrase! Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
Good reflection. But as I’ve said once and I’ll say it again, the real world doesn’t operate in boxes. Twelve seconds over a time limit, as far as a speech is concerned, is not even worth mentioning if your audience is engaged. That’s what organizations like Toastmasters typically only bring people to a certain level of speaking, and then you plateau. So I say ROCK IT GIRL! You don’t fit into a box and you don’t belong in one. So as much as losing stinks (I’d feel the same way) be damn proud of what you’ve accomplished by stepping outside of your zone. And know that it’s not you not being able to fit into someone else’s pre-fabricated expectations, it’s them not being able to handle your awesomeness.
Love it! “…it’s them not being able to handle your awesomeness.” My ego and I thank you, Jill. I needed that today.
I love your above comments and second that emotion!
12 lousy seconds?!?!
I try to make sense of stuff like that…and sometimes, situations just plain stink.
But…maybe the winner reeeaaallllyyy needed that win….??
Or maybe the “loss” will fire you up even more to ROCK the next one!
Either way, sorry for the sting….and congrats on how far you’ve come!!
Oh Anne… I so feel for you. But I’m going to tell you what you already know in your heart, losing is okay. It’s in those experiences that we learn the most because we are so in tune with the moment. Not that we aren’t when we are happy; but we do tend to take it for granted. The life lesson in my opinion is not to worry about 12 seconds…That’s the parameters humans create for themselves..to neatly package everyone in Best, Good, Not So Good. But who are they? How many times have THEY been wrong? OR maybe it wasn’t time yet? Whatever it is, rise above it, dust off the ugly feelings and replace them with all the amazing things you have gotten out of it. That’s right pat yourself on the back for your achievements and leave those stumbling blocks behind.
I am still navigating many of the above. My favorite part is talking to people and learning more about what they have to offer. I also love connecting my business associates to each other–how fun is that?!?
You’re a pro, Anne! And one my best social media buddies!
Aw shucks….Love you to, Tabitha!
As long as you still keep it light hearted, silly and funny then ok
Done and done!
Progress is impossible without change. So, keep it up and be an inspiration!
This list is so darn good, I’m not sure I CAN add to it! I think I learned all of these same valuable lessons. I could say, “I work more hours NOW than I did when I was in Corporate America but I’m happier.” It’s not about the quantity of hours, but the quality. I work evenings, Sundays, through my lunch, etc. But I choose to and on days when I don’t feel like it, I don’t!
Sounds like you’ve got the #freelancelife figured out, Kelsa! I admire that about you — that you take days off when you need or want to take them and work long hours to help your clients as we need you. It’s an amazing transition from corporate America to entrepreneur.
So many excellent points! I’ve only been bumbling along for about 1.5 years now but, boy, can I relate to your points–and I’m still working many of them out!
I love it that you’ve decided not to go the “agency model” route and stick to your guns!! I can see you doing what you’re doing now for a loooong time, and getting “expanding” on your own terms!
This is so true: “You know you’re at the right range when people start telling you they can’t afford your services.” More newbies need to embrace this!
P.S. I have changed my prices over and over again and sometimes list them and sometimes don’t…and no one seems to care! HA!
This was a great article and follows along with the shift I am making in my own life as a freelancer. When I first started, I still had the mindset of an “employee”. Basically, if you have a good resume and apply to enough people, you’re bound to find something. As I grew in freelancing and life, I started to realize that people hire people, not resumes. Yes, it’s important to have a resume or portfolio, but it’s more important to show and communicate what the person behind that resume or portfolio can bring to the table.
Thank you for your feedback! Yes, we hire people not resumes. While there is great value to a resume, it doesn’t tell the whole story. Always great to meet other freelancers!
I for one love working at home. I’ve blended my domestic life with my business and although it’s not perfect (what is eh?) I think I have found a good balance. You hit the key points Anne; sleep, socialization and eating. I believe (this is just my personal opinion) you have to love what you are doing…period. The roller coaster ride is part and parcel of running a business..from home..alone. I have a routine which gives me the consistency I need (A type personality) and I really enjoy my own company. May sound weird, but you must enjoy listening to yourself all day because that is the only voice resonating in the house LOL I must stress, this did NOT happen overnight. It took a lot of trips and spills and bumps and … I think you get the point… to establish a healthy and happy environment. AND there is always tweaking along the way.
As always thanks for sharing your words of wisdom Anne!
Thank you for your insight!! Always a pleasure to hear from you.
As always, thank you for sharing your words of wisdom, Angela! You provide me reminders that everything I am doing is going to end up in a happy place. Some days I wonder….as I am listening to the voice of only me. Purple hugs to you!
My advice: if you find three or more of these in one guy, marry him.
Oooo, this is a topic near and dear to my heart! My thought is that God is leading you somewhere, to use your gifts, to help people and to help you fulfill your life calling (or maybe just to simply be more joyful and “complete”). How exciting!
I know what you mean…I feel very “in the flow” lately and after years of feeling like I was fighting the current, it’s an unfamiliar and somewhat scary feeling! I journal a lot…just write down the little signposts, whispers and “God intersections.” It’s interesting to see how the big picture often changes one small pixel at a time!
At the beginning of the year I said great things were happening to a lot of people. I am glad you’re included! Love the concept of signposts and God whispering — that’s really what happens….and I forget!
Will you be my business BFF? <3
*hugs* Your mother was an awesome woman, and I am so glad she was part of my life.
Thank you. That means a lot.
I love that — “No is a complete sentence.” Too often we feel like we need to justify or explain why we are saying no. That just lets room for people to wiggle in and refute the statement. Will certainly keep in mind.
Yes! I tried something new last week – I cancelled a meeting with someone I didn’t want to meet with and didn’t say we could reschedule. All he said in response was okay! There was no discussion of rescheduling. I effectively told him, “No, I don’t want to meet with you” and that was okay. Very interesting what happens when we change just a little whether it’s our thinking or actions.
Brilliant! Controversy works.
What and how he said it makes him a [jerk], that he says only beautiful people are skinny is crap (speaking of, he’s not a good looking person himself so kettle calling pot?) The only thing I might agree with is that men and women need to learn whats appropriate for their body type and size, and yes I think clothing manufacturers should limit the sizes of some styles, some styles really just don’t look as flattering in size 18, conversely some clothing styles don’t look good on size 0. Put aside the whole obesity problem in America and let’s just teach people again to have some pride in their personal appearance.
There are so many directions I can go with a response to this. You make valid, passionate points. I took the business approach to reacting to Mike Jeffries. Just by virtue of him being a jerk (and more), I hope people stop shopping at his stores.
To speak to the issue of obesity and self-esteem, we have to stop living as a society of entitlement. People aren’t taking person responsibility for anything — their actions, clothing, eating habits – nothing. It’s a sad state of affairs.
Thinking of you today. Wish I had met the lovely woman responsible for the creation of THIS lovely woman. You are remarkable.
Thank you, Amy. She was amazing.
It’s been 18 years since my mother passed when I was 16. I really dislike Mother’s Day. It reminds me of how alone I feel, even though I have a great step-mother that does the best that she can. I would give everything that I have to get one more hug and word of encouragement from my mother. As I turn 36 this year, I am scared to deep with in my soul- my mother died 6 months after her 37th birthday.
It’s tragic that your fur child passed on such a tough day for you. My family has a history of people passing on important days-my mother on my parents and my grandparents wedding anniversary and then my grandfather on my 30th birthday. I had a nurse tell me that it happens to very special people in that persons life. It is difficult to look at it that way and I admit my birthday has never been the same.
My thoughts were with you and all my friends in our same situation when I woke up this morning and even more now that I read this post. Hugs
I am blessed to have you in my life. Thank you for sharing your story. I still picture my mother at 46 years old which makes us almost like sisters now that I am almost 40. I have friends her age and older and now I see how people were shocked at her passing. She was really young. Your mom was even younger. I understand your deep-in-the-soul fear more than most people. Hug to you today and every day.
I call that the calendar slap. Certain dates just pop up and slap us in the face every single year. I lost my sister Kitty on May 8, 1998. But it’s always the Friday of Mother’s Day weekend to me. I talked to Kitty for hours on Wednesday night. Early Saturday morning, Mom was on my doorstep telling me she was gone. Kitty died instantly of a massive heart attack on Thursday night. A neighbor sent police to check on her when nobody saw her outside on Friday. I was ten days from my due date with Andrew. I couldn’t go to the funeral. The doctors wouldn’t let me travel to Maryland. I still haven’t been to the grave. 15 years this year. Kitty was 43 and left behind a 17 year old son. Her son lived with his dad in Virginia and was supposed to be going to see her on Mother’s Day. Her son has a little girl now and she looks just like Kitty.
My mom likes to play Mothers Day low key too. After spending the weekend telling the family about Kitty, Monday’s mail brought a beautiful card from Kitty. It was the last thing she’d done.
Goosebumps at your story. This writer is darn near speechless. Thank you for sharing your story. A calendar slap — why yes it is!
Oh Anne, I didn’t know that part of your story. My birthday is the same as your mom’s. My mom was 45 and was diagnosed with breast cancer and we are so grateful that she is still with us. I try to appreciate and enjoy her, knowing how fortunate I am to have her. I can only imagine how how you feel….my heart goes out to you. Thank you for sharing your story.
Thank you! You are so thoughtful. <3
Sending extra *purple hugs* … God Bless …
Thank you, Harry and Angela!
Great blog and I needed to hear this. I know this first hand. As hard as it was for me to deal with this recent breakup, I know there’s a reason for it. There was some poisonous aspects to it that weren’t good. Sadly, there was a lot of good in it too. Baby steps.
Thank you for sharing part of your story too! We’ve all had experiences from which we’ve learned — it hurts when we’re in the middle of it. Know it’s a learning opportunity and turning point to something better. You have to let the process work its course.
I always love that your voice and attitude are so clear in your writing.
Apple considers themselves the worlds biggest startup – and many other large companies do the same thing. So in a sense, you don’t want to work with “new” or “baby” companies; but, in theory, you’d be up for working with mature startups… Right?
No, not really. I like your perspective but I want to work with businesses who understand where they are and where they want to go.
It’s awesome to be with friends especially if everyone aims for a specific goal in life – help others and just be optimists! Cheer to all wonderful friends…
Thank you – I agree!
Good for you Anne! I’m sure those were sad and scary moments when you walked away and allowed those people to be who they wanted to be. There have been more times in my life than I care to admit or remember when I held on far longer than I should have. Live and learn, I guess. Thanks for being a positive example!
Far too many people hold onto the known misery, not able to break away and see a happier life on the other side. You’re doing what happy people do — taking the steps to live their best life. Yea!
Thank you, Cindy! Congratulations on your new book! I can’t wait to read it.
Guacamole is such a tasty metaphor. What do corn chips represent? The opportunities that come to us when we are ready?
Interesting…I hadn’t taken it that far…
Thanks for the mention in your post! http://blog.nexcess.net/2013/01/07/monthly-roundup-expressionengine-wordpress-and-magento/
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