You know who you are.
You piss and moan about how he leaves his dirty socks on the floor instead of in the hamper.
You nitpick about everything from his fingernails to his wardrobe to his mother, brother and best friend.
You don’t like who he is and you want to train him to be someone or something he is not.
I know he runs his own business, coaches Little League and is saving the world from bad people but he leaves his super hero cape on the floor. I withhold sex for that.
You cheat on him.
You think about cheating on him.
In case you forgot, you chose to marry him.
At some point you loved him.
You loved everything about him.
You loved being the person to take care of him – and his misplaced dirty laundry.
You found his family quirky and interesting.
You thought he was sexy.
You thought he was The One.
For those of us who are single and looking for love, we watch you and wonder what the heck you’re thinking.
He loves you to the ends of the earth and back again.
He works hard to make sure you have what you need.
He wants you to want for nothing.
He is loyal to his friends and family.
He holds the door for you and your gaggle of gossipy friends.
He’s aging quite nicely.
In my opinion you’ve got a non-doofus winner.
Clearly you don’t appreciate who you have. In case you’re wondering, the grass isn’t greener here in SingleVille.
SingleVille is filled with doofuses. You should be happy you have a non-doofus, no matter where he leaves his underwear.
I know many single women who would be happy to take your non-doofus husband off your hands. Leave a note in the comments and we can make arrangements.